You know what keeps me up at night sometimes? Thinking about all the times I let fear stop me from going after what I really wanted. I’ve been there – stuck in that uncomfortable space between wanting something badly and being too scared to take the first step. But here’s the thing I’ve learned after 15+ years of leading, teaching, and coaching: the difference between success and failure isn’t about having resources – it’s about being resourceful.
Let me tell you a quick story. Back when I first started my career, I was terrified of public speaking. My hands would shake, my voice would quiver, and I’d practically sprint out of the room when it was over! But now? I actually love getting up in front of people to share what I’ve learned. The transformation didn’t happen because I suddenly got access to some magic resource – it happened because I learned how to create unstoppable momentum.
In this guide, I’m going to share the exact principles that helped me (and countless others I’ve worked with) break through fear and create lasting success. Trust me, if I could do it, you absolutely can too!
The Hidden Truth About Fear and Success
Here’s something wild I’ve noticed after working with hundreds of students and professionals: we’re not actually afraid of failing. We’re afraid of looking stupid while trying. Crazy, right? I remember this one student – let’s call him Mike – who was brilliant at programming but wouldn’t apply for better jobs because he thought he “wasn’t ready.” Sound familiar?
The thing about fear is that it’s sneaky. It doesn’t show up wearing a name tag saying “Hey, I’m Fear!” Instead, it disguises itself as “being practical” or “waiting for the right time.” I used to be the king of making excuses that sounded totally reasonable. “I’ll start my business when I have more experience.” “I’ll write that book when I have more time.” Meanwhile, years were slipping by!
But here’s what changed everything for me: understanding that successful people aren’t fearless – they just have a different relationship with fear. They see it as a compass pointing toward growth rather than a stop sign.
Principle 1: Feed Your Mind Daily
Man, if I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: your mind is like a garden – whatever you feed it is what grows. I used to think I was “too busy” to read. Now I realize I was too busy failing because I wasn’t reading!
Let me share something embarrassing: I once went an entire year without reading a single book. I was “too focused” on work (translation: I was watching ESPN every night). Then I met this mentor who asked me a simple question: “What was the last book you read?” The silence that followed was deafening.
These days, I carve out 30 minutes every morning for reading. It’s not always easy – sometimes my kids are running around like tiny tornados, and I have to hide in my car to get those pages in! But here’s what I’ve learned: those who succeed aren’t necessarily the smartest – they’re the ones who never stop learning.
Quick tip: Start with just 10 pages a day. That’s it. Don’t try to read whole books in one sitting like I did at first (talk about a headache!). Small, consistent steps create unstoppable momentum.
Principle 2: Strengthen Your Body Daily
Okay, here’s where I used to roll my eyes hard enough to see my brain. Physical exercise? Really? I was that guy who thought my mind was all I needed since I worked in education. Boy, was I wrong!
The wake-up call came when I couldn’t keep up with my students during a simple team-building exercise. It was embarrassing, but more importantly, it was eye-opening. How could I teach about pushing through challenges when I couldn’t even push through a basic workout?
You don’t need to become a gym rat (I’m certainly not!), but I discovered that even 10 minutes of intense movement can change your entire day. Sometimes I just do jumping jacks in my office between meetings, appointments, and coaching sessions.. My associates, students, and clients probably think I’m crazy, but hey – my energy levels are through the roof!
Principle 3: Learn from Role Models
Here’s a confession: I used to think role models were for kids. Then I realized something huge – every ultra-successful person I knew had their own role models. Mind. Blown.
I remember struggling with courageous conversations early in my leadership career. Instead of banging my head against the wall, I finally got smart and started observing a senior leaders everyone loved. One of them – Russell – had this amazing way of commanding respect and attention without ever raising his voice. I studied him like a hawk every time I was around him for months!
The trick isn’t just finding any role model – it’s finding the right one for where you want to go. And sometimes they’re hiding in plain sight. One of my best role models turned out to be an entry level courtesy associate who had the most amazing way of dealing with difficult people. He taught me more about emotional intelligence than any book ever did.
Principle 4: Leverage the Power of Proximity
You’ve probably heard that you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Well, let me tell you – this hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized I was the most ambitious person in my friend group. Yikes!
Making changes in this area was tough. Really tough. I had to make some hard decisions about who I spent time with. But here’s the thing – you don’t have to dump all your friends! I started by joining professional groups and attending workshops where high-achievers hung out. It felt awkward at first (okay, super awkward), but it changed everything.
One of my favorite strategies is what I call the “coffee chat challenge.” Every month, I reach out to someone doing amazing things and offer to buy them coffee. Sure, some people say no, but the ones who say yes? They’ve become amazing mentors and friends.
Principle 5: Take Massive Action
Let me tell you about my biggest teaching fail ever. I spent three months planning the “perfect” lesson plan. Know what happened? It flopped. Completely. The students were bored, I was frustrated, and nothing worked as planned.
But here’s the beautiful thing about failure – it teaches you that imperfect action beats perfect planning every time. These days, I still plan, but I’m all about taking massive action and adjusting on the fly.
I’ve learned to embrace what I call the “embarrassment quota” – if I’m not slightly embarrassed by something I tried each week, I’m not pushing hard enough. Trust me, it’s liberating!
Principle 6: Give More Than You Take
This last principle is my favorite, and it took me way too long to learn it. Success isn’t just about what you achieve – it’s about what you give back. Every time I’ve focused solely on what I could get, things felt hollow. But when I switched to focusing on giving value first? Everything changed.
I started offering a free mentorship circle to struggling mid-level leaders. Did it take time? Yep. Did it sometimes mean staying late? Absolutely. But the relationships and opportunities that grew from those sessions were worth more than any immediate payoff.
Time to Create Your Own Momentum
Look, I know this might seem like a lot. Trust me, I felt overwhelmed when I first started too. But here’s the thing – you don’t have to perfect all six principles at once. Start with one. Pick the one that resonates most with you right now.
Remember, creating unstoppable momentum isn’t about making huge leaps – it’s about taking consistent steps forward, even when they’re tiny. It’s about getting back up when you stumble (and trust me, we all stumble).
I’d love to hear about your journey! What principle are you going to start with? What’s your biggest fear about getting started? Share your thoughts in the comments below – I read and respond to every single one.
Now, get out there and start building your momentum. Future you will be so grateful you did!
